Social media is kinda the worst. And you know what's worse? TV news. So what's the perfect storm? The news channels that post those horrific commercials for their stories. Honestly, this drives me insane. I'm happy to just scroll through my news feed, liking people's pictures of babies, sunsets and autumn leaves but without fail there is always a post that is shared from a news channel or a journalist who is doing a story about a new danger that's almost definitely going to strike you, your friends, your family, your dogs- EVERYONE.
This is called FEARMONGERING. People like to create these stories to draw attention. And I get it, journalists are hungry, too. They need the money. But that's no excuse. Yes, it is important to be informed and we cannot live in ignorance, but the hype surrounding the story- the dramatic music, the reenactments, the wording, phrasing everything about those stories creates FEAR in the viewer. They do that intentionally, it draws you in, it creates a physical response that leaves you reeling. It makes you want to call your mom and and your sister and they all have to watch the segment and you share it on FB because you want everyone to know and it's just an insane run-on sentence of fear.
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE IN FEAR.
I feel very passionately about a few things, one of which is protecting myself and my family. That passion has led me to a number of amazing resources and experiences that have given me knowledge and ability to be confident in myself.
Fear is a gift, it is an important intuitive function that is necessary at times. But if your body is in fear mode all the time it is ineffective, difficult to recognize and makes it almost impossible to react appropriately to a real threat.
Terror is what results from hyperextending your fear muscles. Terror is a real problem. I would like to submit that things like the Provo Groper the clown phenomenon and all the other trending posts on my facebook feed actually have something in common.
They are acts of terror.
Michael A. Sheehan, in talking about terror cells like Al Qaeda states, "As implied by the word terrorism, those who engage in that practice employ their enemy's fears and insecurities as part of their weaponry. Terrorists depend on an overreaction to scale up the impact of whatever they've done." ( from his book Crush the Cell).
Did you catch that last part? Terrorists rely on overreactions. So, in effect, we are helping them achieve their goals by heeding this fearmongering (another term coined by Sheehan is "self-terrorize"). We self-terrorize by overreacting, we self-terrorize when we spread the terror to our kids, grandkids, friends, neighbors, and cats.
The only way to change this is to defend yourself.
I believe that we, as a society, can defeat this.
Let me walk you through what I have done (and am doing) to make sure I am properly equipped to not live in fear all the time.
1. Become self-aware
The most important thing I have learned in the last 10 years is that I can't rely on anyone else for my protection. I am my own #1. When there's a real situation and the fecal matter hits the fan, I can't immediately rely on my husband, my dad, my brother, my best friend, Liam Neeson, or even the police. The fact of the matter is that I must be in control of my own protection. I protect what I love, so the first part of this journey is loving myself. I'm worthy of protection. I'm awesome! I am alive for a reason! I have a purpose! I can fight and I can win! Positive affirmations, positive body movements, positive visualizing. These things are not silly- they are survival tactics.
2. Change your media diet.
Media intake should be as important as nutritional intake. What I read, watch and listen to really and truly affects my state of mind. I have found that I don't need to watch the news to know what's happening in the world. I have also found that it works best for me to watch from a variety of stations to get a more well-rounded and less hyper-exaggerated version of any story. Become media savvy by reading this amazing article by Gavin deBecker (one of my heroes, I highly recommend his books The Gift of Fear and Fear Less).
3. Open your eyes (and ears, and nose, and intuition).
This is crucial. Be aware. Honestly people. Stop jogging with your headphones in, stop talking to your mom on your phone while you ride your bike, and good heavens STOP playing Pokemon Go all the time. These things are distractions. They don't keep you safe!! They block out the world around you so that you don't even have half a mind to notice the lurking criminal. Take control of your life. Open your eyes. Take out your headphones. This will do you more good than you can possibly imagine. It can save your life, it can prevent crime, it can stop terrorists in their tracks. My all-time favorite story is about these 3 women who were paying attention and rescued a would-be-victim. If you take the time to open all your senses, you'll start to know when something tickles your intuition. It saves lives.
4. Take Action
Once again, take control. Fight back. It doesn't mean you go looking for a fight, but start simple.
-vocalize: that dude at the grocery store who is making you feel weird and following you down the aisle- look him in the face and say something to him.
-posture: widen your base if you think he may attack you. Draw a crowd. Make a scene. You have a presence, use it!
-report suspicious behavior: I said earlier that you can't always rely on the police, but sometimes you can and you should. Every police department has a "non-emergency" line. If you notice that guy from the grocery store is also in your neighborhood and he's making you feel weird. Call your non-emergency line and tell them. They'll likely send a friendly patrol around and this has the potential to make your whole neighborhood safer. Another interesting read is about Operation Pastorius. Because an unarmed coast guard man reported suspicious behavior on the beach a whole string of terrorist attacks were prevented in 1942.
-learn how to defend yourself: Not everyone needs to go out and buy a gun. But if you feel unsafe take a self-defense class! Your own body works as a weapon in so many ways!! I wholly endorse the RAD program for women and children. I've taken the class twice and I cannot recommend it enough. If that's not available in your area, call your police station and see what they recommend. And if you DO want to buy a gun, please read as much as you can in order to be informed about it and aware of the risks/hazards/benefits of carrying one!
This post has become long and unruly, there were a lot of links in there that I'm not getting any kind of affiliate credit stuff for, I'm just sharing good stuff.
I have one last thing to say. I think the reason I am passionate about all of this, the reason it all connects for me: crime, terror, war, etc. is because I am a sheepdog. I feel the need to protect my flock. It saddens me that so many of my friends are being terrorized as they watch the evening news. It angers me to know that there are wolves out there, but it angers me more when my precious sheep fall prey to the wolves bait. We need more sheepdogs! As one marine put it, "Sheepdogs are humans who are not perfect, we are tolerant of the normal faults and foibles of our fellow man with one exception: we cannot stand and will not associate with cowards."
I want you, my friends, to be strong and courageous. I want you to live lives of real awareness yet free from prolonged fear and terror. We can make the world stronger and better if we have more sheepdogs.
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